When we lose a love, it seems as if the world has truly come to an end. We feel that we'll never recover, never fall in love again, and perhaps never again feel the joy life used to provide. And as distressing as these feelings are, they are actually quite useful - an integral part of the healing process we must experience in order to be whole and ready to love again. As Dr. John Gray tells us, by shutting down the feelings of hurt, pain, and loneliness, we are actually hindering our recovery.

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University of Chicago research psychologist Cacioppo shows in studies that loneliness can be harmful to our overall well-being. Loneliness, he says, impairs the ability to feel trust and affection, and people who lack emotional intimacy are less able to exercise good judgment in socially ambiguous situations; this makes them more vulnerable to bullying as children and exploitation by unscrupulous salespeople in old age.

Exercises & Meditations from The Reality Slap

he 'reality slap' takes many different forms. Sometimes it is so violent it's more like a punch: the death of a loved one, a serious illness, a major injury, a freak accident, a shocking crime, a disabled child, the loss of a job; bankruptcy, betrayal, fire, flood, divorce or disaster. Sometimes it's a little gentler: envy, loneliness, resentment, failure, disappointment or rejection. But whatever form it takes, one thing's for sure: it hurts! And most of us don't deal with the pain very well. 

Loneliness as a Way of Life

"What does it mean to be lonely?” Thomas Dumm asks. His inquiry, documented in this book, takes us beyond social circumstances and into the deeper forces that shape our very existence as modern individuals.

Soseki wrote Kokoro in 1914, two years after the death of Emperor Meiji, and two years before his own death. It was written at the peak of his career, when his reputation as a novelist was already established. In it, as in all his other important novels, Soseki is concerned with man's loneliness in the modern world. It is in one of his other novels that the protagonist cries out: "How can I escape, except through faith, madness, or death?" And for Sensei, the protagonist of Kokoro, the only means of escape from his loneliness is death.
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