Mama Makes Up Her Mind: And Other Dangers of Southern Living

Welcome to the unique world of Bailey White. Her aunt Belle may take you to see her bellowing pet alligator. Her uncle Jimbuddy may appall you with his knack for losing pieces of himself. Most of all, you may succumb utterly to the charms of Bailey’s mama, who will take you to a juke joint so raunchy it scared Ernest Hemingway or tuck you into her antique guest bed that has the disconcerting habit of folding up on people while they sleep.

‘Oh, please, dear hunter, have mercy! If you will let me go, I’ll gladly wander away, far away into the wildwood and I’ll never come back again.’

“The huntsman was glad enough to help the sweet innocent girl, so he said, ‘Well, run away then, poor child, and may the beasts of the wood have mercy on you.’ As a token he brought back the heart of a wild boar, and the wicked Queen thought it was Snow White’s. She had it cooked and ate it, I am sorry to say, with salt and great relish.”