"I was about to punch in the number when a man loomed up beside me. When I say loomed I mean loomed - he was tall and wide with a shaven head, and the pale hand that plucked the mobile from my grasp and threw it away was super-sized. 'Hey,' I protested. He just stood there, a pace away now - a hundred kilos of bone and muscle in T-shirt and jeans. I had a gun and a tyre iron and I thought I'd need both to make an impression on him, but they were in the car. For now, it was just me!"
Added by: orchiddl | Karma: 2025.10 | Fiction literature | 11 February 2010
55
The Best American Humorous Short Stories
Wherever there is an italic, the hickory descended. It fell about as regularly and after the fashion of the stick beating upon the bass drum during a funeral march. But the beast, although convinced that something serious was impending, did not consider a funeral march appropriate for the occasion. He protested, at first, with vigorous whiskings of his tail and a rapid shifting of his ears.
