Скучно… Вся грамматика навевает на меня смертную тоску. Но ведь жизнь не стоит на месте. Поря уже признать факт, что времена изменились, и находить время для учебы стало еще сложнее. При этом учебники не смогли измениться, а остались такими же скучными. Поэтому особенно обидно тратить бесценные минуты на скучную грамматику. Но в этой проблеме заложено и решение, а почему же все это должно быть скучным?! Итак, достопочтенная публика! Представляю Вашему вниманию шутки и анекдоты по теме Present Continuous:
A juggler is driving to his next performance when a policeman stops him. 'What are these matches' and lighter fluid doing in your car?' asks the cop. 'I'm a juggler, and I juggle flaming torches in my act.' 'Oh yeah?' says the cop. 'Let's see how you do it' The juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully. A couple driving by slows down to watch. 'Wow,' says the driver to his wife, 'I'm glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they're giving now!'
Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus him-self at the Pearly Sates.
The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I will allow you into heaven, but if you lie... Hell is waiting for you."
To the first man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?"
The first man replied, "Lord, I was a good husband. I never cheated on my wife."
The Lord replied, "Very good! Not only will I allow you in, but for being faithful to your wife I will give you a huge mansion and a limo for your transportation."
To the second man the Lord asked, "How many times did you cheat on your wife?"
The second man replied, "Lord, Г cheated on my wife twice."
The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a four-bedroom house and a BMW."
To the third man the Lord asked, "So, how many times did you cheat on your wife?"
The third man replied, "Lord, I cheated on my wife about 8 times."
The Lord replied, "I will allow you to come in, but for your unfaithfulness, you will get a one-room apartment, and a Yugo for your transportation."
A couple hours later the second and third men saw the first man crying his eyes out.
"Why are you crying?" the two men asked. "You got the mansion and limo!"
The first man replied, "I'm crying because I saw my wife a little while ago, and she was riding a skateboard!"
A husband said to his wife, 'Put your coat on, love, it's time to go down to the pub.' She replied, 'But you never take me out.' 'I'm not,' said the husband, 'but I'm turning the heat off before I go.'
I believe in making the world safe for our children. But not our children's children, because I don't think children should be having sex.
A blind man with a guide dog walks into a bar. The blind man picks up the dog and starts swinging it around. The barman asks, 'What are you doing?' The blind man replies, 'Just looking around.'
A man from the United Way comes to a lawyer and reminds him that he made over $1,000,000 last year, but donated nothing to charity.
'First of all,' says the lawyer, 'my mother is sick and dying in hospital, and it's not covered by insurance. Second, I have five kids from three divorced marriages. Third, my sister's husband died suddenly, and she has no one to support her four children..." 'I'm terribly sorry,' says the United Way man, 'I feel bad about asking you for money.'
The lawyer responds, 'Yeah, well, if I'm not giving them any money, why should I give you any?'
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and your friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you are swimming.
What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?
Newsflash: Earthquake in China...20,000 dead... US is sending cash, Australia is sending food, Britain is sending replacement Chinese.