Through Alien Eyes: A View of America and Intercultural Marriages

The American dream has been part of world mythology for generations now. As the land of opportunity, America still entices people from around the world to taste it for themselves. Marrying an American has been one of the most popular means since single Irishmen or Italians looked for brides from the old country in the nineteenth century. Since the end of the Cold War, East Europeans are one of the latest waves to give it a try. Some come here, marry, and live happily ever after. Some discover the country (or the man of their dreams) is different from what they were expecting and find the cultural leap a bit too much. Given the contrasts, contradictions, eccentricities and peculiarities (add to that the pain of leaving one’s homeland, difficulties with a new language, etc.), many relationships stumble. One question stands out to a newcomer: Why are so many Americans stressed out and so unhappy despite their signature smiles? “We knew that everything the communists told us about communism was a lie,” the Russians say, “but we didn’t realize that what they told us about capitalism was true.” How much difference is there between “Soviet propaganda” and American “spin”? With the eye of a keen observer, the author humorously highlights inconsistencies and ambiguities in our culture. The America that foreign wives experience is a land that the natives have not seen for themselves. The author crisscrosses the country from deep in the heart of Dixie, where even food is a matter of right or wrong, to the environmentally conscious Northwest where one might drive to the recycling center in a military-style SUV just to drop off last year’s electronic gadget. Adaptation to the new life demands moral courage and profound compromises. One cannot avoid the melting pot; it will choose for her or him what will be retained and what will be lost. The dream of America does not always have a storybook ending.