Over the past 25 years,
has inspired many, infuriated more, and ingrained herself in the public
consciousness with such force of will that she's become a favorite
subject of academia. Every suggestive lyric, every bright new hairdo,
every playful crotch grab is fodder for college courses, daylong
seminars, even entire books by scholars looking to make a buck off
arguably the most famous woman in the world.
Christopher Ciccone is not one of those scholars. He's a great tattletale, though. Life With My Sister Madonna
arrives at an inauspicious time for the 49-year-old pop star, who's
been batting away rumors of an extramarital affair with New York
Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez. For E! News fanatics and sun
worshippers in need of a good beach read, it's hard to beat.
Ciccone, who worked closely with his older sibling for years, serves
some tasty morsels of madness. There are surreally humorous
life-in-a-bubble moments throughout: Madonna is stranded in the
Moroccan desert on her way to an early-career video shoot; Christopher
spends a woozy evening sharing bumps of cocaine with Donatella Versace
after Gianni Versace's New York City memorial service; Madonna, buzzing
on lemon-drop cocktails, is escorted from a post-Grammy party
inexplicably covered in candle wax.
Unfortunately, all this dish is counterbalanced by Ciccone's
attempts to psychoanalyze his sister, a ludicrous exercise given that
she is already the most overexposed woman of her generation. He hurries
through their Michigan childhood Ч still the least-chronicled portion
of her life Ч in favor of too-obvious statements that will surprise
nobody. Among the feeble insights: Madonna ''always has to be the
best.'' She is ''the world's worst joke-teller.'' She is ''not
touchy-feely.'' She wholeheartedly believes in her acting abilities.
She's a tightwad who once charged her college-student brother 50 cents
for a joint Ч and decades later made him pay his own way to her 2000
Scotland wedding to
. And then there's this doozy: ''From her perspective, she is the only person in the universe.'' Well, duh.
Not registered yet? We'll like you more if you do!